A Thousand Miles

Thousand miles

     A thousand miles of walking has left me drained of energy and I am not sure that I can move forward anymore.  Time has stopped without warning leaving me frozen, unsure, alone, and reaching out into the emptiness only to find no one can see me.  Why?  A word screamed a thousand times that never receives any words back.  My mouth now opens without any flowing words able to escape past my pale worn lips.  I cannot move anymore and is there someone to move forward for?  No echoes throughout the space known as my mind and a river of despair rages through leaving me to deal with the aftermath.  I knew that walking life was not going to be easy for me but yet I choose to walk that thousand miles without knowing or caring about what was waiting for me at the end.  After all what does someone the world objects to having in there have to look forward to in life?  Nothing.

     Another thousand minutes have passed by without anyone noticing except me because when frozen in time you noticed things that others do not.  Or at least that was the impression I got back then and you know everything has a truth or a false within it especially my own self perception at the time fully how as time goes by you begin to see what it was you were blind to.  I'm moving again slowly but at least I am not moving forward because I have a reason to move.  I still stumble while walking the next thousand miles but I don't let it keep me frozen anymore I have a reason to keep walking.  ME, FAMILY, AND DEAR FRIENDS.  Those are very good reasons but mostly for me and there may be some of you thinking that is a bit self but in reality it is not for I have always placed others first and that cannot continue any longer.  How much can a person sacrifice for another without fully breaking into unfixable pieces?  Not long and I have a life, right to have that life, and no longer should I deny it to myself.  I was the one denying my life no one else held a gun to my head but along that path it started feeling as if I was the only one giving, caring, and in truth it was not the truth.  Our minds tell us something is true but it rarely is the truth of the situations we face each day as we walk our own journeys of life.  One step closer to find myself at the end of this life as I begin anew one upon leaving the body behind to nature the Earth.

     I would walk another thousand miles to find you for whom I should never have lost along the way of this journey.  I admit to being the one responsible for my words, actions in the past, and for those unspoken words and actions.  I shall now stand up even if life wants to throw me down into the mud once again but this time I shall pick myself up and clean myself off as I continue walking forward.  I may have been blessed with children, a man in my life, but I am still blessed to have all those in my life that I have now.  When our own time comes to leave this world we shall be reunited in the world for our love always binds us whether we like it or not.  I have moments I ask why I was bonded to you but in reality I know why because you are you and I am me whom love each other as we are.